Trashy, Filthy, Deep Fried Babybel.

This recipe is utter filth. In fact, it is so filthy, it is beyond filth. It is the culinary equivalent of getting banged by a stranger in the back of a Corsa, whilst hiding in a dark car park in the early hours of the morning. Perhaps you know his name, perhaps you don’t, but it is hardly important. If anything, it it is better for everyone if you don’t. But I wouldn’t know…

It is a recipe for drinks with friends. The sort of friends you don’t need to impress. Whose company you choose because you are all as trashy as each other. Those friends who love meeting each other just to celebrate being utterly shameless. Those friends whose very existence reassures the other that neither is alone or unique in being so terribly debauched and smutty. In short, this is not a recipe for snobs or overly status orientated folk.

I get that deep frying cheese is not exactly a revelation. I have often enjoyed making cheese croquettes and similar deep fried concoctions over the years, but there is something altogether more lurid about using babybel. I think it is because you can almost see people looking down their noses at you for consuming it.

When I first tweeted I was doing this recipe one reply kind of summed up this attitude. They proclaimed their horror and suggested that it was the worst cheese they have ever tried. Well, good for you. No one is suggesting you put it on a cheeseboard or eat it in a restaurant. And nor should you. Part of the joy of using processed cheese such as babybel is about its very reputation and the sneering it induces. I can only describe it as like sex with that person you could never tell your friends about, but would happily do over and over every Sunday until Christmas.

But there is also a technical reason why babybel works. Its spherical form is a lot more aesthetically pleasing and also more suitable for this sort of cooking. You don’t have to chop or mold the cheese into different shapes and it is already the perfect size for finger food. It can just be quickly peeled and it is ready and eager to go. In addition, it is also relatively solid and won’t melt too much. Moreover, I am also going to go out on a limb and say I believe it also has more flavour than a lot of the cheaper mozzarellas (which are also in relatively good physical shapes for this recipe and could be substituted).

So the recipe, like the escapade described above, is quick and dirty. If you have a deep fat fryer, you would be wise to use it. I do not have one, so I used a small but deep saucepan. I put approximately 4 fingers deep of cooking oil at a high heat for 5 minutes or so to warm up (I do not know the temperature, but high). It is best to test the heat of the oil with one babybel first, just to see if it sinks to the bottom, or is too hot and goes brown too fast.

You then need three bowls. One filled with beaten egg, one with flour and one with breadcrumbs. I chose to add some cayenne pepper, chili flakes, salt and pepper to the breadcrumbs. You can dip your finger in the crumbs to give it a taste in case you think it might be too much. Then coat the peeled babybels in the flour first, before moving on to the beaten egg and breadcrumbs. You may need to add additional breadcrumbs as you go, as it can clump. But ok. It’s worth the hassle.

Once this is done place a single babybel in the fryer as described above to test the temperature. You can even wait for this one to be done before doing the rest. You can then eat it as a cooks treat whilst you carry on frying. One point that is incredibly important here is not to overload the pan with too many babybels. It will reduce the temperature of the oil and you will end up with an all round greasier affair than a crunchy one.

Whilst they are cooking, bring a plate with some kitchen roll next to you. You will need a slotted metal frying spoon if you have one. It will help to drain the oil. Place the babybels onto the paper and plate. Let them rest for 30–60s and then eat.

When I had them I ate them with with a cold beer from the bottle. But I’d quite like to have them with something as basic as the cheese. Perhaps lambrini would be fun. In my ideal world I’d have these babybels with a bottle of some gross fluorescent red rose, before going off for a night at the bingo. But sadly I live in Belgium, so just had to make do with a (blonde) beer. Ofc there is bingo here, but it is hard enough following the numbers in English, let alone Flemish. Plus, I fear, it would not be anywhere near the same as the bingo halls I went to in Hull or Manchester.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. Apologies if it is overly indulgent, I get it, but OK I am bored and I felt amused for an hour writing about it. If you try it, or have some suggestions, let me know.