On Cabbages and Golden Showers.

I can think of very few ways of consuming cabbage that I would not be curious to try, but perhaps that recommended by Cato the Elder 234–149 BC, is one such method I may want to avoid. He is reported to have recommended the showering of sick infants in the piss of someone who had recently eaten cabbage in order to heal them. Now I consider myself open minded and willing to try everything, both on a sexual and culinary level, but perhaps a cruciferous golden shower is just a little too much even for me..

Cabbage, I have to say, is my favorite vegetable. I like its versatility. I even like the way the word sounds. It almost sounds frumpy. If it was a person it would be a dumpy middle aged man or woman in a fleece. Probably drives a prius and thinks a mac is only a coat. Reliable, stable, and always useful, but not on the face of it particularly exciting.

I like it raw in citrusy spruced salads. I like in coleslaw, with an onion hum, and mayonnaise. I like it fried with onions and white pepper. I like it in soups. I like it pickled and fermented as Kimchi or sauerkraut. I like sauerkraut with giant bratwurst sausages and spaetzle. I like it stuffed with cheese and baked in the oven in tomato sauces. I like cabbage and bacon as served in Ireland. I like it stuffed with meat and deep fried. Perhaps, after all, even the cabbage golden shower would be a thing for me?

I even like to spend time scrolling through reams and reams of google image search results of people standing next to their record breaking giant cabbages. Few things seems as pure and wholesome as country folk standing proudly next to their prized chonky brassicas.

Few ways of eating it are as satisfying as a recent recipe I found a few weeks ago in an Irish Cookbook that I have adapted a bit. To be honest my two fav ways of eating cabbage are Irish in origin. The first being cabbage and bacon. That boiled bacon chop, so soft it almost falls apart, served with the salty briny soft cabbage and the parsley sauce. The second being the recipe I want to briefly outline and share.

Ingredients

• 1 white cabbage cut into wedges small enough to be covered in a pan without having to use too much liquid.
• Cream & chicken stock (enough to almost cover the cabbage in a wide frying pan).
• 1 leek or onion (optional).
• Dash of white wine.
• Nutmeg.
• Finely chops herbs (chives, parsley or tarragon).
• Butter.
• Salt & black pepper.

Method

1. Quarter the cabbage and remove and outer leaves that are damaged. If the wedges are too big, slice in half again to create more wedges. You are aiming so that they can be covered in stock and cream in a frying pan. If they are too big they won’t cook completely and you’ll need to turn them over a lot more.
2. Simmer the cabbage wedges in a deep pan with salty water for 5 minutes. Remove from the pan gently so as not to damage any of the leaves. Pat dry with kitchen paper and leave to dry off.
3. Melt some butter in a pan and, if using the leeks, fry them gently, but don’t allow to brown. Remove from the pan when softened.
4. Add the cabbage wedges to the pan and fry, turning each wedge momentarily, until the straight sides have caramelised a bit.
5. Add the wine, chicken stock and cream so that the wedges are almost covered and place the leeks back in. Cook for a further 15 minutes or until the cabbage is soft. Turn repeatedly to ensure even cooking.
6. Grind over some nutmeg and season the sauce with salt and pepper and garnish with whichever finely chopped herbs you are using.
7. Serve either just on its own with bread or with some kind of meat. I have had it as a side with a roast or also fish.

I hope you like this. It isn’t the most exciting thing, but I really like it a lot. I also realise how odd it is to go on a such a tangent about cabbage, but I had the time and I enjoyed it.

Sam