(Forgotten) Anniversary Sex and Lasagne

Hands up. I completely forgot about our anniversary this year. I was aware of it, in that it had occurred to me several times in the preceding month that I needed to do something, but then I completely forgot about it. I remembered the day before, but then it was too late to really successfully plan anything, though luckily as it turned out, we had both forgotten..

To try and salvage the day a bit I decided to make a lasagne. What is good about this lasagne recipe is that it is perfect for two people (though could be 4 with sides) and I could make it ahead. Which in the end turned out to be important.

Being an anniversary it obviously meant I would have to “put out”. In addition, after 3 years of being exclusively a bottom in our relationship, Arne has decided he now only, or mainly, wants to top. The make ahead part of this recipe meant that I could put the lasagne in the oven when he got in from work, let him go at it for 40 minutes, and then open some wine and have a glass for half an hour after he finished (in me), allowing both me and the Lasagne to rest. And most importantly, who really wants to bottom after eating a Lasagne?

One thing I like about making lasagne for someone is that, whilst it does feel like you have put a good amount of effort in for them, it doesn’t feel too showy offy, or so laborious that it could feel like you’ve gone to too much effort and could end up making them feel uncomfortable.

Perhaps that sounds ridiculous and it is just me being a bit neurotic? I don’t know. But given that we’d both forgotten, I didn’t want to then do something ridiculous/over the top and end up making him feel bad, rather than just us both enjoying it.

The labour part of a lasagne is obviously in the volume of work, rather than its difficulty. Endless washing, stirring, assembling and chopping. Which if needing to be done at speed, can be a little stressful or irritating, but if you have a whole afternoon to do it, can be quite soothing and chill. Pottering away with the some music or a podcast on in the background.

One other benefit is just on my mood. On the day I cooked it I was actually feeling a little down and stressed about a number of things. So it felt good to set to work on producing something I knew would take a block of time and engaging my mind/concentration fully. I was able to distract myself and the feeling of producing something, even if only a lasagne, made me feel a lot better about myself than I had at the start.

Before going on to the recipe there are a few things to mention. I know normally the meat should be a mixture of pork and beef mince. I used only beef here and instead substituted the pork mince for gezouten spek, which is basically just thick streaky bacon. I want the fattiness of pork mince, but I prefer using something salted to add a good strong savoury note to the meat sauce.

I use a torn up mozzarella ball on the top, as it keeps the top from drying out, and means you don’t need to cover it in foil at the beginning when it is placed in the oven. It also gives a slight cheesy stringiness on the top, which I really like.

I also used a bread loaf tin. It means the lasagne is deeper and also perfect for two people, with a little leftover for the next day or later on in the evening.

Ingredients

• 250g packet of beef mince.
• 3 rashers of thick bacon (if thin and watery bacon, use another one. I use “gezouten spek” which is basically bacon, but thick and doesn’t shrink so much).
• 1 packet of lasagne sheets (you won’t need them all).
• 2 cans of good tomatoes.
• 2 tbsp tomato puree.
• 1 onion.
• 1 carrot.
• 1 stick of celery.
• 4 cloves of garlic.
• 1 tsp sprigs of thyme.
• 1 bayleaf
• Glug of red wine.
• 1 tbsp soy sauce.
• Salt, pepper to taste.
• Olive oil and butter.

Béchamel Ingredients

• 4 tbsp of white flour.
• 100g buter
• 1/2 a litre of semi skimmed milk (or however much needed until desired consistency).
• 1/2 tsp of ground nutmeg.
• Parmesan for layering.
• 1 ball of mozzarella for tearing up and placing on top.

Method

1. Finely chop the onion, carrot and celery and set to one side. Then mince the garlic and chop the bacon or gezouten spek into cubes.
2. Heat a frying pan with olive oil to a medium-high heat and brown the mince. Once this is cooked, set aside.
3. Next add the chopped bacon to the same pan until the fat has rendered and it has gone a little golden.
4. Add the finely chopped onion, carrot and celery. Cook until the onions turn translucent and gain a little colour.
5. Now add your garlic and cook for 2 minutes, but do not let it burn.
6. Add your mince back to the pan and combine with the ingredients already in the pan.
7. Now raise the heat of the pan and add your glug of wine. Stir through and then add the canned tomatoes (leftover tomatoes rinsed from the bottom of the can too), tomato puree, soy, bay leaf and sprigs of fresh time. Bring to a simmer and let cook for 20–30 minutes, adding more water if it reduces too much. Season to taste once it has cooked down a bit.
8. Whilst this is cooking away, begin to prepare your white sauce. In a saucepan, melt the butter over a low-medium heat. Once melted add the flour 1 tbsp at a time and stir in. Let it cook a little bit, as you stir it for around a minute. After this stir in your milk a tiny bit at a time, as it is absorbed into the flour each time. If you are using cold milk, this will take a little longer, as it will have to heat up with each bit that you need. Keep doing this until you have a good thickened sauce. If any lumps develop, use a whisk to get rid of them. Once you have your desired thickness, season with salt and pepper and a little nutmeg.
9. Now you are ready to layer the lasagne. The pasta will likely not be quite the perfect shape for a bread tin, so you will need to improvise and gently break them up. I also know that this is not the correct way to layer, but I prefer it like this. Place a ladle full meat sauce on the bottom and cover with lasagne sheets. Then place a ladle full of white sauce, or just enough to cover the pasta. Cover in parmesan and then add another later of pasta. Repeat until you are near the top of the tin and finish with a later of white sauce and parmesan. At this point add your torn up mozzarella ball.
10. I prefer to let it sit until I need to cook it. It means the meat sauce is essentially being reheated, which I think makes it tastes better.
11. Place in the oven for 40–60 minutes on a medium-high heat. But do keep an eye on the top. You don’t want to let it burn. Whilst it’s in the oven, you can fill the time by having sex, or just having a drink.
12. You have to let it rest once it is cooked. Preferably for at least 30 minutes, as there is nothing worse than burning your tongue and ruining a meal by impairing your taste buds.
13. Tastes even better reheated the next day.